I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
ok first of all what the fuck
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
