Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
