i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
