Sry I called you an 8
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
