He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
