So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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