Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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