If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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