I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
