It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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