I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
