When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize