Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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