i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
