you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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