I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Are we still banned from the library?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
