It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize