Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
