He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
