Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
When did angry sex become our thing?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
