her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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