The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
