I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
