question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
