Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
