wat bout pragnant strippers??
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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