I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
