Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
