omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
