why didn't you poke me back
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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