:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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