So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize