You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
