come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you traded sex for a burrito?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize