May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
