I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
