Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
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