Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
