His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
