Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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