listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
