I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
