and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
