eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize