had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
