I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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