chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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