thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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