Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
