PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
