I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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