Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
