its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize