If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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