She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Success! We fucked roommates!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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