You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
