He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize