Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
