...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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