i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
