AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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