mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Slut skills are useful in every country.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The power of my boobs compel you
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
soo... how was my night?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
